Like the obscure meaning of my name. " chae-rin"
CHAE (彩) means "color." RIN (麟) means "female unicorn." I was a standard platform of the tier example of just that.
A colored dark skinned target, outcasted by my skin color before I could find a method of some typical social-led mistake to place me in isolation, my skin did enough. "Female" I was and a "unicorn " I might of well have been. It was obvious to me the most blissful of things were love and family, in thankfulness they were the ones that took me in close.
I wasn't some lonesome, sick dying child from African sahara desert as the narrative that has been thrown towards me by my peers, in hope to understanding how I found myself in relation to korean-native parents and 3 siblings that resembled one another leaving me as the odd one out.
Rather my birth parents were successful and brilliant journalists whom, met their death at a rather early age, on the way to come visit friends, in seoul.
I just the age of 2 months old. Eomma, and Appa had been close friends with my birth parents, hasn't they been aware of their arrival, I too might've died along with them. At times I can't say I wish I didn't.
The most difficult part about being korean, was that I hadn't mastered being korean. Now, after just becoming at peace with my lack of success we are moving to L.A. Eomma suggested, that I may get familiar with my birth parent's side of the family after 19 years.
Truthfully, it's safe to say even in the midst of those that looked like me, I felt too korean, in the midst of koreans I felt too black.
but according to that college entrance exam and everyone else, I Wang Chae-rin, will forever just be black, there was nothing wrong with that. Yet my world still used it as a way to limit my experiences. That's what there was something wrong with.